fmttm vrs Peterborough: a year in goals
Just before you all go and get sozzled, dear readers, I thought I would take you on a fast-paced 600 word journey through 2011 told entirely through the prism of our 10 most important goals of the year. These were judged entirely by me.
We start at the New Den in February where Tony McMahon smacked a free-kick into the top corner of the net behind which 1,000 Boro fans could barely believe their eyes. Macca has demanded to take every free-kick since and when everyone else tuts, I think back to Millwall.
Minutes later in the same game Scott McDonald was fed beautifully by Merouanne Zemmama to place a sweet shot stunningly into the same net. I lost my glasses in the celebrations. I did get them back although they were crumpled to the tune of £200. Boro held on to win a stupidly good game 3-2 and Zemmama hasn’t played as well since.
Against Derby, however, just under a month later, Merouanne Zemmama scored. It was a bit of a fluke but man, woman and child did we need it? Trailing 1-0 in front of a freezing, fuck-all Tuesday night crowd we were in danger of falling six points behind the Rams and dangerously back towards the trap door to League One. A lucky own-goal set the stage for twinkle toes to get a lucky deflection for the winner in the dying minutes. The EIOs of 16,000 rang in my ears until the next morning.
Scott McDonald was still taking a lot of stick last season. Yes, he was working his socks off, they said. But we want goals. Now. Against ‘ull City at their place, Super Mac helped himself to a first-half hat-trick. His third came thanks to a slinky spin and shot from close range. Boro went in 4-1 up and I was dancing around the office at work. Mathematically, we were safe. Not that anyone ever really doubted that…*coughs*
By May, we were bemoaning the fact we were running out of games. On the first Bank Holiday Monday we steamrollered play-offs preparing Cardiff City live on Sky. I’ll repeat that, we steamrollered someone live on Sky. In the 20th minute Dormanstown’s finest Richie Smallwood burst into the box to connect with a cross and score his first goal for his boyhood club. Dreamland.
To this season then and the first away game at Dirty Leeds. A somewhat tense affair was settled by a Marvin Emnes surface-to-net missile commissioned by the Dutchman from a gorgeous angle. We didn’t know Marv had that in him.
Selhurst Park is one of our bogey grounds. We have a few of them, I accept, but the home of the Eagles is always particularly unkind to us. In September, that man again Marvin Emnes sealed a well-deserved 1-0 win by slamming home from another unlikely position. Our sixth win in the road in all competitions. Nurse!
Normal Sky service was resumed at Bristol City when all appeared lost until Malaury Martin imagined the ball was his settee when he couldn’t find the remote and spanked it into the top corner. Goal of the year, without doubt.
Faris Haroun clinched another win at Cardiff when he controlled sublimely and crashed the ball into the net. Cue me falling two rows towards the pitch and colouring half of my right leg purple.
We know what happens when the crowds come back to The Riverside. The Boro disappoint, and the part-timers go away telling everyone who doesn’t want to listen that they won’t be back for a while. But then Barry Robson stops them in their tracks with a swirling thunderbolt to make it a Merry Christmas. Amazingly, the goal looks better on TV than in person.
